I was only 27 at the time and had never even run a 5K, never mind a half marathon. But despite my lack of experience, I decided to go for it. I did it to get into better shape, I did it to help save lives by contributing to the American Stroke Association, but mainly I did it for the bragging rights. Because I honestly didn't know if I'd be able to pull it off, but I knew if I did, it would be something I could brag about for a lifetime. And here I am 14 years later, still talking about it.
What I didn't know would happen when I agreed to train for that half marathon was that over time, I'd develop a fondness for running (I am careful not to say a "love" for running, because the word "love" implies I am head over heels for the activity - and I'm not 😊). I am quite fond of running. I am fond of how strong it makes my body. I am fond of how much peace it gives me when I am feeling overly anxious or stressed out. And I am fond of the confidence I get from completing a long or difficult race. Running has given me so much over the last 14 years, and for that I am so grateful. And it all started with my decision to try training for a half marathon just to see if I could pull it off.
Running and I have an interesting relationship - when it's good it's great and when it's bad - well, it's pretty bad. 😁 But no matter how many times I try to say it's over with running, I always end up going back to it. Because that fondness may dim from time to time, but it never actually goes away.
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| Me in my favorite running shirt |
One year ago today I completed the toughest race I have ever run, to date: the 2018 Chicago Marathon. You can read about my experience in Chicago by clicking here. That race kicked my ass big time and after I crossed that finish line, I decided to take a huge step away from running for a while. Marathon training takes a lot out of you both mentally and physically and I think after completing Chicago (and getting beaten down by that race in every way imaginable), I was 100% burnt out with running and needed a big huge break.
And that break lasted almost a year. I didn't run again in 2018 after the marathon and from January 2019 to September 2019, I am pretty sure I only ran about 4 times total. That wouldn't be so bad except that I also avoided other types of exercise as well. The very thought of biking, doing the elliptical, swimming, or even walking felt exhausting to me. I couldn't get motivated to break a sweat at all. And so I sat and rested and recuperated for many months.
I kept waiting for my motivation and passion for exercise to return and time ticked on with no motivation in sight. I was starting to get worried that I might never want to exercise again. Resting and recuperating is fine and all but if I want to live a long life, I know exercise is a key ingredient to making that happen! And I could certainly exercise without motivation and excitement for it, but without really wanting to do it, it would be exceptionally awful. Doing anything because you HAVE to instead of WANTING to do it is downright torturous in my opinion.
Then it happened. Three weeks ago today I was watching the movie Brittany Runs A Marathon and I felt something I hadn't felt since before I completed the Chicago Marathon - I felt a desire to run again. I won't get into the details of the movie (but I will recommend you see it - even if you aren't into running, it's a great movie with a good message - and it's both funny and real at the same time), but it reminded me of what it was like when I first started running and it reminded me about that amazing feeling I used to get - terror and excitement - when I first started training for any half or full marathon - and I wanted that back.
So I started running again - and boy has it been tough! Since I haven't really done much of anything in the category of exercise in the last year, I am basically starting from scratch. It's funny how quickly your body can backslide when you stop training. But I am okay with starting over, in a way I kind of like it. I get to be scared and excited all over again as I slowly build up my stamina. It's my own little come back story. And I do love a good come back story.
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| I've made my peace with last year's marathon - and to prove it, here is a photo of me in my Chicago Marathon shirt |
I am not signed up for any races right now, but I have put myself on a 30-week marathon training plan. What I like about being on a marathon training plan is that it gives me structure with my running and it also helps me prepare for a half or full marathon if I should decide to do one in the coming year - I'm not saying I will sign up for one, but I like having the option. 😉 Following a marathon training plan without an actual marathon to train for also allows me the flexibility to alter the plan if I need to (for example, I need the first 6 weeks or so to be all about slowly upping my mileage as my body gets used to moving again, asI don't want to hurt myself - so I have adjusted the 30-week plan to have a slow increase in mileage at the beginning).
This is the first time I have ever decided to "train for a race" without being signed up for an actual race. I'm at a point in my life right now where I just need to run to channel some of my nervous energy into something positive. I'm running for the sake of just running. Kind of like running without a destination, if you will. Wow, there's so much symbolism in this concept I could write a whole other blog post just about that.
Anyway, here I am, back in the saddle again. I'm sore even after a couple of miles, but I'm giving it all I've got, just the same. And to illustrate how challenging the training has been for me as I start from scratch (yet again), I give you this hilarious meme that I swear captures exactly what is going on in my head whenever I head out for a run:
