I did not grow up with the internet. The first time I ever laid eyes on the "web" was Freshman year of college in 1996 when a librarian tried to teach me how to use search engines to do research for English class. I remember thinking to myself, "Psshht, I'll never use that". Meanwhile, now in 2019 I probably use Google at least a dozen times a day for work alone, never mind for leisure. Shows how much I knew in 1996. Anyway, getting back to my point - I knew life before the internet and before social media. I didn't start using email until I graduated college and got my first job. I didn't get my first cell phone until I was 25, and it was a flip phone without a texting plan. In fact, I didn't even get a smart phone until 2011, so internet and social media weren't always at my fingertips. I even had a MySpace account - it doesn't get more retro than that, right? So you could say that for a majority of my life, technology was not at the top of my list of "things that are important to me". In fact, technology was barely on my radar until about 10 years ago when I first joined Facebook.
It's no secret that social media has a lot of pros: it allows me to stay connected to friends and family (even if we live far away from one another), it provides a 24/7/365 connection to people all over the world, it helps me stay on top of pop culture and important news, and it gives me an outlet to share photos, articles, personal blog posts (like this one), and other things I feel are important. The con is that social media can also inundate us with information, both good and bad, and it can be hard to be on the receiving end of all of that. And because social media gives us that 24/7/365 connection to people all over the world, it literally is a never ending cycle of sharing, posting, liking, tweeting, commenting, blogging, snapchatting, and God knows what else. So it's up to us to know when to step away and take a break, and it isn't always easy to do that.
In fact, I am currently on a social media break right now. This time, though, it's because I started noticing I was caring too much about the "likes" I was getting on Facebook, and it was actually affecting my self-esteem. It pains me to even admit that, because in my opinion it's a silly thing to care about. But before you judge me as a superficial weirdo, allow me to explain myself.
I recently shared something personal on Facebook that I felt was a really big deal. I debated on whether or not I should share it and it took over a week for me to decide. So in my mind, this post that I shared with my friends was both personal and important. I definitely did not expect all 195 of my friends on Facebook to comment or cheer about what I wrote, but I also didn't expect only 2 people to "like" the post either. It kind of crushed me a little. Now, I know that Facebook has a crazy algorithm that dictates what people see or don't see on their newsfeeds, and I also know that many people don't log onto Facebook as frequently as I do, so it is quite possible that most people I am friends with on that site didn't even see my post. And the ones who did see it and scrolled past it, perhaps it wasn't a topic of interest or the post was too long to bother with. Just because I thought the post was important doesn't mean it was important to everyone else, I get that. And no one could have known how personal it was to me, they are not inside my head. But still, it affected me. Because as it turns out, I am human. Damn that human emotion.
I let myself bum out over this for a hot minute, then I decided to take a break from social media for a while. Not because I am "taking my ball and going home" so-to-speak - more because if I care that much about people liking my Facebook posts, then I clearly need a big fat timeout from social media. Time to get my priorities in order, my friends.
Just before I decided to take a break from social media I received an unexpected private message on Facebook from a person in a closed group I belong to. She said that even if people don't like or comment on things I post online, she and many others are reading what I share and they are proud of me for putting myself out there. I have never spoken to this woman before and this was the first time she ever reached out to me. I was so touched and the support from this stranger was so kind and reaffirming. It made me realize that I was totally allowing social media to define my self-worth. I was superficially looking at "likes" on Facebook as if they defined the love I have in real life and that was crazy.
We are so much more than the number of friends we have on Facebook. Or the number of followers we have on Twitter or Instagram. We're more loved in this world than any number of "likes" on social media could ever provide. We are not defined by the highlight reel on our newsfeed. We are defined by the love we give and the love we accept every day from the people in our lives. Just know that if we are friends on social media and I inadvertently scrolled past something you posted that was meaningful or personal, it does not mean I don't care. I see you, my friend. And I support and love you, in real life. 💓
Taking a break from social media allows me a chance to get back to basics a little, and I need that right now. Back to a time when I connected with people on a more meaningful level. Back to a time when technology wasn't a top priority. Back to a time when I enjoyed the moment I was in and didn't feel the need to take a picture to post on Instagram. Back to a time when I knew myself and didn't need to rely on Facebook "likes" to feel like I accomplished something.
But I won't go back to the time when I thought search engines were useless. Because that's just stupid. 😄
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.