Two Year Pandemic Anniversary & Feeling Gratitude

As I am writing this, we are approaching the 2-year anniversary of the US COVID-19 shutdown/start of the global pandemic.

Wow, let's just reflect on that for a minute. Two years...damn if that wasn't the longest and fastest 2 years ever - am I right?

Anyway...

I was all prepared to write a little something about "the things COVID took from me" today. But as I opened up this page, I changed my mind. Instead of obsessing on what we lost, on everything bad that happened in the last 2 years, on all of the darkness and struggle, I have decided to focus on what I have gained in all of this mess.

So what did I gain? In a word - perspective.

From the shutdown/lockdown to being temporarily unemployed to being afraid for my health and my life to watching people turn virus prevention (mask mandates and vaccines) into a raging political agenda, I gained a lot perspective on what was important in life. I started taking charge of my physical and mental health in a way I never did before. I began to truly appreciate time spent with loved ones. And I got better at "staying in my own lane" and focusing on what needed to be done for myself and my family, regardless of what others around me were doing. My respect for scientists, doctors, and other clinical professionals who care for the health of others dramatically increased as well - I always looked up to these folks, but the pandemic really shined a spotlight on how amazing and important they are. 

I also decided to stop drinking during the pandemic - and I stopped for good. Before the pandemic I had dabbled in sobriety off and on, taking long breaks without alcohol to test the waters and see what life was like without the blurriness of booze. But inevitably I always ended up back with a bottle of something in my hand, trying to numb myself from the challenges of life. If it weren't for the deep struggles of depression and anxiety that I experienced during the height of the pandemic, I don't know where I would be right now in my relationship with alcohol. Not drinking for the last 21+ months has given me the greatest perspective of all - one full of clarity and awareness. It gave me a second chance to live life the way I was always meant to - feeling everything, good and bad. 💗 And being completely present.

Health anxiety has always been a struggle for me and unfortunately the pandemic made it a great deal worse, but all I can feel today is grateful. Oh don't get me wrong, I spent a long long time feeling bitter over these last 2 years. I also felt resentful and mad, too - especially in 2020. Even last year at this time, as we commemorated the 1 year anniversary of the pandemic, I wasn't feeling quite so grateful. There was a lot to be bitter, resentful, and mad about. But a lot has happened, and one thing I know for certain is that as tough as everything has been for me personally for the last 2 years, I still have love in my heart, and in my life, and that is what got me through - and continues to get me through, each and everyday.

So I could have written a long post about the things COVID took from me, it would be easy to compose something like that. But haven't we had enough negativity? It's time to put some good energy out into the universe. I am ready to let go of my anger and bitterness. I'm not suggesting we simply forget what we've been through, or dismiss the struggles and heartbreak. But it's been a long 2 years, and I am ready for the next chapter.

All I need is a little perspective. And of course: